dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
