i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish there were birth control emojis
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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