they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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