More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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