East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
