i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I could make wine with my vomit
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
