I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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