How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
