Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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