i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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