Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
