i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize