Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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