what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
