dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
