Plan B is the new Plan A
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
