I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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