Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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