Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
