she told me i tasted like america
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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