How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
