Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I had to cum in my sink.
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