worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
