Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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