True but thats because hes a fetus.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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