I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He did a backflip because drugs
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
