like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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