he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there was a trapeze. enough said
it was like eating out sand paper
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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