Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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