her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize