Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
