I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
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I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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