gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This is the high leading the old right now
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
