Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
