Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

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  (610): Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry. http://tfl.nu/7qgs
  Replies (38) Good night (5203) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

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  (303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..." http://tfl.nu/5h2o
  Replies (81) Good night (806) Bad night (6421) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer

  (214): View more from Texas

  ... I'm KD

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  (903): I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer (214): ... I'm KD http://tfl.nu/mzja
  Replies (38) Good night (511) Bad night (2144)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.

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  (204): between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/u2b0
  Replies (28) Good night (889) Bad night (4522) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way

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  (949): Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way http://tfl.nu/t96w
  Replies (31) Good night (1676) Bad night (4733) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

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  (970): you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you. http://tfl.nu/kcuf
  Replies (12) Good night (2237) Bad night (3283) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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  (406): We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase. http://tfl.nu/9rce
  Replies (11) Good night (3992) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.

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  (630): He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors. http://tfl.nu/ipmp
  Replies (36) Good night (2488) Bad night (5445) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....

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  (215): Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank.... http://tfl.nu/wvlh
  Replies (27) Good night (1110) Bad night (5076) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Crying in the liquor store is not a good look

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  (631): Crying in the liquor store is not a good look http://tfl.nu/r8cz
  Replies (4) Good night (580) Bad night (1299) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep

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  (412): It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep http://tfl.nu/wopt
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (539)
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  (631): View more from New York

  His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

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  (631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd
  Replies (17) Good night (767) Bad night (1743) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all

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  (970): So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all http://tfl.nu/hnjr
  Replies (6) Good night (356) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter

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  (919): my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter http://tfl.nu/13z8
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked

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  (202): Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked http://tfl.nu/79sc
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt

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