Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
