so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
