he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
