If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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