I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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