i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
