I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
