So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
