I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
