Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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