It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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