I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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