Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize