Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
