I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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