Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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