dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
one might say we're banned from that church
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
