i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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