you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
