Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
