omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
