Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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