Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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