We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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