She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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