She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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