There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
