the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
