**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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