If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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