Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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