He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
