Who did Billy Mays play for?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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