The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
