i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
