My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
